


Wrongfully Accused

by SophiaHawkins



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: April Sexton - Freeform, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, sevasey
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-05
Updated: 2021-03-17
Packaged: 2021-03-18 14:07:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29859249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaHawkins/pseuds/SophiaHawkins
Summary: Severide's barbed comments after Darden's death come back to bite him when a similar call gone wrong seems to push Casey over the edge.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

Wrongfully Accused

It was a typical night at Chicago Med, which meant an onrush of emergencies, minor injuries, and a lot of false alarms that were yet to be diagnosed as such. The waiting room was half full of people waiting to be seen by a doctor or waiting to receive news about their loved ones.

April Sexton's cell phone vibrated and she saw it was Kelly Severide calling.

"Hey Kelly, what's up?" she answered.

The response was not one she was expecting. There was a lot of background noise crackling and Severide's voice was frantic.

_"April, I'm coming in with Matt Casey, I need the paramedics outside ready to go immediately, you got that? Our ETA's about 3 minutes."_

"What's going on, Kelly?" she asked.

_"I think Casey's having a heart attack!"_

April's eyes widened but her voice was professional as she responded, "We'll be ready." She disconnected the call, told Maggie to inform the paramedics, and ran down the hall after Connor, "Dr. Rhodes!"

* * *

Kelly Severide was barely paying attention to the needle on the speedometer which said he was doing 30 miles over the limit, if anything he thought it should be higher. Beside him in his Mustang, Matt Casey was leaned back in the seat and painfully inhaling and exhaling as he struggled to keep breathing. In the glare from the streetlights shining into the car, Kelly could see Casey's face and hair were drenched in perspiration, he'd already sweated clear through his shirt and jacket long ago, or what felt like long ago anyway. He wasn't sure how long he'd been driving, it didn't seem to him it should be taking this long to get to the hospital.

Severide had taken his car to a gas station to fill it up, and just as he'd finished, he spotted Casey's pickup pulling in at the next pump. They'd started talking, and the conversation had gone back to a call they answered earlier that day. It had been a bad one, they were less than an hour away from shift change when they'd responded to a house fire on the second story of a triplex, fully occupied, so they had three families to make sure everybody was out before they put out the fire. Additional trucks from neighboring houses had been brought in to assist because flying embers and burning debris threatened to ignite the houses on either side of the triplex and had to be evacuated, largely against the homeowners' wishes. A couple grass fires had already started in between the yards and were close to getting out of control. The family on the first floor had already run out before the fire got bad, the family on the fire floor had managed to race down the stairs before the whole floor was engulfed and had to be treated for smoke inhalation. Then there had just been the family on the third floor to rescue. They raised the aerial and a young firefighter from House 21, Jason Hellman, had gone up with Casey while Herrmann and Otis went to work with other firemen from 21, venting the back of the house. Just as they'd started to knock out a window, there was a sudden whoosh and something exploded. Half of all the windows from ground to roof blew out and bright orange flames and black smoke poured out of all of them. Severide heard a crackle on his radio and heard Casey's frantic voice but couldn't make out what he was saying. Then he saw the aerial coming back down and the paramedics rushing over with a gurney.

The young fireman had been making his way up the ladder when the second story window blew out and he had been pelted with large shards of glass, flames, and the sudden onrush of heat strong enough to partially melt his turnout gear. Casey helped Hellman down the ladder and he was assessed by the paramedics as having second and third degree burns, loaded on a backboard, wheeled into the ambulance and rushed to Med.

There hadn't been any time to dwell on what had happened, because the next thing they heard was glass breaking and they saw the couple on the third floor smash out the window and jump. There were a few firemen standing around in just the right place they were able to help break the fall as the two 20-something-year-olds plunged 30 feet straight down to escape the flames. They suffered minor smoke inhalation and had a few burns and cuts but otherwise were alright, though two additional ambulances took them to Med to make sure there were no underlying problems. With all the civilians out of the way, the sole focus was now containing the fire, which took longer than expected, and it was going on noon before everybody finally returned to 51 to shower, change and go home.

Looking back now, Severide had noticed Casey looked bad while they were talking, but he thought it was just the memory of the call. Then he realized for it being the middle of March in Chicago and the wind chill made the night air about 40 degrees, Casey was sweating through his clothes and breathing hard. _Then_ the Truck lieutenant had moved his foot and about fallen down as he lost his balance. Severide grabbed him and helped steady him. Casey sucked in another breath and put a hand to his chest.

"What's wrong?" Kelly had asked him.

Casey got out a pained yelp and then hissed through gritted teeth, "It feels like something's stabbing me clear out through my back."

And then Severide put it all together. He could call an ambulance, or he could put Casey in his car and rush to the hospital himself. He knew he could drive faster than any ambo, so he took Casey and got him in the passenger seat. He pulled open the glove compartment and took out a bottle of baby aspirin he kept on hand. Even off duty, you never knew when a medical emergency might occur and you were the only person around to help. He used to keep a bottle of regular aspirin on hand instead, but switched them out after one time he'd been in a grocery store and a 10 year old girl in line with her mother suddenly started exhibiting symptoms of a heart attack.

He'd popped the cap and poured out several and told Matt, "Take these, I'm getting you to the hospital."

And here they were. Was it really possible that everything had taken place only in the course of a few minutes? How many? 10? 15? Already it felt like it had been hours.

"Take it easy, Casey, just keep breathing," Severide said, relying on all his years of experience to not panic now, "we'll be at Med in a couple minutes and you're gonna be fine."

Casey took a break from his labored breathing long enough to turn to Kelly and say accusingly, "Not if you get us killed on the way there first, _watch out_!"

Kelly actually looked and saw they were starting to veer into the next lane and a truck was coming. He jerked the wheel all the way to the right and buried the accelerator and got them away just a few seconds shy of colliding with the semi, the driver of which honked furiously at them as they passed.

"Just try and stay calm and keep breathing," Severide told Casey, "we're almost there."

About 30 seconds later, the lights at Chicago Med came into plain view, and Severide exhaled with relief. He sped into the parking lot and saw the paramedics ready with a gurney, all waiting for them.

Kelly pulled up and hit the brakes. One of the paramedics was already opening the door on Casey's side and talking to him as they got him out and lowered him onto the gurney. Then they got him on oxygen and started wheeling him in, Severide followed them so he could see Casey and _know_ he was still alive. They passed through the sliding doors and Connor told Severide, "We got it from here. We'll do everything we can for him."

Severide watched Matt struggling to breathe even with the oxygen, and he reached over and grabbed the lieutenant's hand in his and told him, "You'll be alright, Casey. I'll be here when you come out."

And like that, Casey was wheeled away past a set of swinging doors with the doctor and several people in scrubs heading for the ER. And Kelly was left standing outside, feeling like everything was in a fog.

* * *

Time ceased to exist for Severide. He couldn't think, he could barely function at all, all he did was roam the halls and pace around the waiting room. He had had more than his fair share of waiting around for the doctor to come out with the news about somebody being worked on, and he _never_ paced for any of them, but this time he felt like if he didn't keep moving, he'd lose his mind. How the hell could Casey be having a heart attack? As physically demanding as their job was, it was necessary for all of them to be in excellent shape, they regularly took physicals to ensure they were still qualified for the job. Heart attacks happened to older guys like...Kelly didn't want to think about that either, but it still didn't make any sense.

Kelly was so lost in his own thoughts he initially didn't pay any attention to the onslaught of new voices behind him.

"There he is."

"Severide!"

He turned around and saw his men from Rescue coming towards him. He couldn't even think, it finally dawned on him that he hadn't even thought to call them, so how'd they know to be there?

"What's going on?" Tony asked.

Nobody had said anything to Severide since they took Casey away, his brain was barely able to remember how to form words.

"It-it's Casey, he had a heart attack tonight."

"What?" Capp asked.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah!" Kelly answered, "I was talking to him and he, he, he, he couldn't catch his breath and he started having chest pains and..."

"And you're not going to be far behind him, _breathe_ , Severide," Capp told him as they each grabbed an arm and led him over towards one of the chairs.

Kelly heard both of them telling him to breathe, to calm down, but it sounded like they were miles away, nothing was really registering in his head yet. But something did occur to him.

"How'd you guys know to come here?"

"April called us," Tony answered.

Kelly did a double take. "April called _you_?"

"Yeah, she said she was notifying everyone."

And like clockwork, in stepped everybody from Truck.

"There he is!" Herrmann pointed to Severide.

"What happened?" Otis asked.

Kelly stood up and answered, "Casey had a heart attack."

"WHAT?" the men asked.

"That's not even possible," Cruz said.

"I saw it, I brought him in," Severide told him.

Otis thought of something and asked, "What were you two doing?"

"We met up at the gas station, we started talking about the call today, and..."

A light seemed to come on in Otis's eyes, and the expression on his face said he was not amused as he asked, "And did Darden's name happen to come up in the conversation?"

Kelly's anxious expression became a blank stare, then a scowl as he asked, "And what's that supposed to mean?"

"I think we all were thinking the same thing today," Otis said, "what happened to Hellman was very similar to what happened to Darden. Did you bring it up?"

"No."

"You didn't happen to accuse Casey of putting _him_ through the window trying to kill him too, did you?" Otis asked.

"What?" Tony asked.

Capp usually had his lieutenant's back for everything, especially when it became a turf war between Truck and Squad. But he looked at Severide and asked him point blank, "You said _that_ to him? What the hell is the matter with you, Kelly?"

"How did you know about that?" Kelly asked Otis.

"Oh my God, Kelly," Tony took a step back, "what's wrong with you?"

Everybody started talking over each other at once and nothing said was decipherable from the rest of the yammering back and forth. The only thing that broke it all up was a very deep throat clearing. Everybody turned and saw Wallace standing behind them, and everybody quickly calmed down.

"How's Casey, Severide?" he asked.

Kelly shook his head. "I don't know, Chief, nobody's come out yet."

"Then all we can do at this time is wait," Boden said, and addressed all of his men, "I don't know if you realize it, but all those chairs over on the other side of the room are there for a reason."

Everybody mumbled their agreements with him and went over to take a seat, except for Severide.

"Kelly, can I see you for a minute?" Boden pointed down the hall.

* * *

"All of us were hit hard by Darden's death," Boden told Severide, "And I know that's the core of the animosity that started between you and Casey shortly after the fact, and I couldn't get an honest answer out of either of you at the time, but would you mind explaining to me what it was all about? It's _not_ optional this time."

Kelly sighed and shook his head, "Andy wasn't supposed to die in that fire."

"Each time we go out on a call, we face a good possibility that all of us are not going to make it back, that's just the nature of the job" Boden told him. "We spend enough time second guessing when we can't save civilians, wondering what we could've done differently, could we have been faster? It's harder when it's one of our own."

"There was no vent, he shouldn't have gone in!" Kelly said.

"But he did, and he paid the ultimate price for it," Wallace said, "and so have we, so has his family."

"Casey should've done his job and told him not to go in."

"Casey said he _did_ ," Boden pointed out. "Have you ever known Matt Casey to lie about his performance on a call? Even when it could make him look bad? Even when he could be facing disciplinary actions?"

"No, Chief," Kelly started to feel the air being let out of his argument.

"Then why are you still blaming Casey for Darden's death?"

"Because he was _there_ , he should've stopped Darden."

"Hold up," Boden raised a finger. "You and Darden went back a long ways, right?"

"Since kindergarten, all we ever wanted to do was be firemen."

"And in all that time, did you ever know anybody to be capable of stopping Darden from doing anything he set his mind on?" Boden asked.

Severide's defensiveness took another hit. "No, Chief."

"You think if _you_ had been there, that he would've listened?"

"Yeah...maybe...I wasn't there, it wasn't my job."

"And neither was venting the back, right?"

Kelly's eyes widened. "Casey told you about that?"

"He didn't have to. I am not so oblivious to everything that goes on in my house as you might think," Wallace told him. "I can appreciate how hard his death was for you since you two had history, that's why I gave you every chance I could to fix this situation between you and Casey when it happened, but it still wasn't enough."

Boden stared the lieutenant down and asked him, "Kelly, did you _really_ accuse Casey of _putting_ Darden through that window?"

Kelly felt like he was shrinking. Right now Boden seemed to be towering over him like an angry father reprimanding a 5 year old.

"Yes, Chief."

"Even though he _knew_ there was no vent?" Boden asked in an interrogatory manner.

"Yes."

Boden's face was largely his same old 'unreadable but infuriated' self, but there was something else there that warned Kelly things just took a turn for the worse.

"Kelly," Boden's deep raspy voice dropped to a lower tone than usual, almost ominously, and said, "I _really_ hope you're not about to suggest that Matt Casey knowingly, intentionally or negligently sent a fellow firefighter to his death, or that I would keep someone who did, in my house for all these years. Because if you _are_ , you and I are going to have a serious problem."

And that was when Kelly knew he'd been licked.

"No," he answered in a small tone.

"No what?" Boden asked.

"No, Chief," he sighed, "I _know_ Casey wouldn't do something like that. It's just that...it shouldn't have happened! There's no reason why it should've!"

"And it makes more sense to blame someone else for what happened instead of acknowledging no matter how well we train our men, there are some things just beyond our control," Boden said. "Kelly, every single fireman who has ever lost a man on the job has been in your shoes, all of them trying to make some sense of it, all of them looking for something or someone to point the finger at and say 'if it wasn't for this, he would still be alive'. It doesn't do any good, nothing can bring Darden back, or any of them. Casey doesn't deserve the accusations you threw at him."

"It was a bad moment," Severide said.

"The whole world has bad moments, Severide, that doesn't excuse it," Boden told him. He came down a notch and told Kelly, "Now when... _when_ , Matt comes out of this, you need to fix what you started."

Kelly looked at him somberly and slowly nodded, "Yes, Chief."

"Alright, let's go back and see if there's been any word," Boden said.

The two of them returned to the waiting room at the same time they saw someone else joining the party.

"Chaplain Orlovsky," Boden said, "what brings you here?"

"Well actually, Chief," Orlovsky answered, "I've been in with Hellman and his family."

Everybody got quiet after that.

"How is Hellman doing?" Cruz asked, finally breaking the silence.

"Still wait and see," the chaplain said as he sat down, "on my way out I heard about Matt. How's he doing?"

"We don't know," Otis said. "The doctor hasn't been back yet."

"Well," Orlovsky addressed all of them, "the only thing that we can do for Matt right now is pray, and I think it would be the most appropriate thing to do."

"Uh," Mouch raised his hand in a questioning manner, "will this involve holding hands?"

"If you're comfortable with it," Orlovsky replied in a somewhat humoring tone.

"Uh I think we'll pass on that, Padre," Herrmann spoke up, "everybody around here's already looking at us like we're weird."

"Suit yourself."


	2. Chapter 2

"How long has it been now?" Cruz leaned over and asked Otis.

Otis checked his watch. "Too long. They must've had to do major surgery."

"It doesn't make sense, how could Casey have a heart attack?" Joe asked.

"It happens, Cruz."

"Not to people like Casey. Older guys yeah, older firemen like..."

"That's far enough," Herrmann warned him. "Whatever else you was about to say, you just forget it."

"I'm sorry, man," Joe replied, "this just doesn't make any sense."

"Heart attacks can happen to anybody," Mouch spoke up. "And when you consider all the stress and strain that this job requires, it's a wonder more of us aren't getting them."

"And people say I give the worst pep talks," Herrmann said. "Will you two shut up? Casey's gonna be fine."

"Herrmann, we've been here for two hours," Otis said. "If it wasn't anything serious, somebody would've told us something by now."

"Oh God," Cruz thought of something else, "what if he died on the operating table and they're just waiting to tell us?"

"They wouldn't do that, they know us too well here," Mouch said, "somebody would've come out and told us."

"Will all of you guys shut up?" Severide raised his voice. He looked around at all of them and told them, "We don't know anything yet! When we do, _then_ we'll deal with it."

Things quieted down after that, but only for a while. Cruz and Otis lowered their voices, though they could still be heard by anybody sitting closest to them.

"If he did have surgery," Otis said, "we could be talking anything from one stent to five and a permanent pacemaker."

"And any of those means he can't be a firefighter anymore, doesn't it?" Cruz asked.

Brian nodded.

Cruz let out a pained sigh, "That'll kill him."

The next sound Cruz made was a loud gasp as he moved back in his seat. Everybody looked up and saw Dr. Rhodes and April coming towards them. The moment of truth had finally arrived, and everybody was bracing themselves for the worst.

"The first thing I want to say is that Matt _should_ be alright, it's going to be a matter of wait and see, but I think his odds are good," Connor told them.

"How bad was the heart attack?" Severide asked.

Dr. Rhodes shook his head and told them, "He didn't have a heart attack."

"What?"

Everybody looked around at each other in confusion.

"What happened then, Doctor?" Boden asked.

"We ran several tests, and they all came up negative for any heart damage. Matt has no blockage to the arteries, no blood clots, his left ventricle however _is_ enlarged and isn't functioning right."

"If it's not a heart attack, what is it?" Herrmann asked.

Connor looked at them and answered, "I believe Matt is suffering from something called broken heart syndrome."

Once again, everybody looked around at everyone else, trying to make some sense of all this.

"Is that really a thing?" Herrmann asked. "It sounds like one of those hypochondriac things you imagine having."

Connor smiled briefly and explained, "The technical term for it is Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, I can assure you it's a very real thing."

"Okay, now I get why they call it broken heart syndrome, it's easier to pronounce," Herrmann said.

"Doctor Rhodes, what exactly causes this syndrome?" Boden asked.

"Right now nobody can say for sure, but in some people a sudden onset of extreme stress or trauma can cause the blood to stop flowing properly and the heart starts to fail. The symptoms are very similar to a heart attack."

"Will he need surgery?" Otis asked.

"No," Connor answered. "Most people with broken heart syndrome recover in a few days or weeks and the heart damage reverses itself."

"Oh thank God," Herrmann said.

"He's going to stay in the hospital while he recovers and we will monitor him just to make sure there are no complications," Connor said, "but he's a very lucky man."

Boden raised a finger to get Connor's attention, "Dr. Rhodes, how exactly does a fireman who faces extreme stress nearly every single day, after 10 years on the job suddenly develop this syndrome?"

"Again, there's a lot about it we still don't know," Connor told them, "it's just how the body produces stress hormones in a given situation. It is _possible_ he could get it again in another traumatic event, but it's highly unlikely."

"Can we see him?" Severide asked.

"We have him sedated right now to cut down on the strain to his heart," the doctor answered. "If the problem persists he will be put on medications until his heart is back to normal but in the meantime we're going to see if we can wait it out by putting him in basically a medically induced coma to reduce the amount of work the heart has to do to keep him going."

"Thank you, Doctor," Boden said.

"I will let you know when there's an update," he told them.

Once Connor was gone, everybody took a collective sigh of relief.

"Thank the dear Lord that it wasn't a heart attack and he's going to be alright," Orlovsky said.

"Yeah, but I still wonder what could've triggered it," Cruz said.

"The main thing is Casey's going to be alright," Otis said, "people don't die of broken heart syndrome."

"Well that's not entirely true," Orlovsky spoke up. "Once in a while they do. You guys remember a call you responded to last year, home caught on fire and the husband was arrested for setting the fire to kill his wife and four kids for the insurance money?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that, the Boyett family," Cruz said.

"The father swore up and down that he didn't do it," Orlovsky told them.

"Big surprise, they all deny it," Severide said.

"Be that as it may," the chaplain continued, "he was crucified in the press, at the coroner's inquest, the grand jury, never changed his story, swore he didn't kill his family, he didn't set that fire. It went to trial, and he was presumed guilty from the start, again by the press, and the public, the lawyers...but the jury acquitted him. The press hounded him even more. Last month he had a heart attack and died...seemed to have a heart attack anyway. I was requested to come out as a favor to the remaining members of the family. While I was there, a call comes in. Upon autopsy, the medical examiner found no sign of a heart attack, nothing blocking the arteries. Two days after Boyett dies, a new investigation proves that the fire was caused by faulty wiring. He knew he was innocent, and he was cleared, but it didn't matter, there's only so much that one person can endure before they finally give up."

"Aw geez," Herrmann commented.

Cruz turned in his chair and asked, "Hey, where's Severide?"

Everybody looked and saw the chair the Squad lieutenant had been occupying for over an hour was now empty.

"Probably had to stop in the men's room," Herrmann said as he got up, "Me and Mouch will go check."

"And I'll just go check and make sure he didn't try sneaking into Casey's room," Otis said, "where is it, April?"

"Follow me," she said.

Boden picked up his jacket and headed for the exit.

* * *

From the sliding doors, Boden could already see Severide seated on the hood of his car. He walked over and the closer he got, the easier it was to see just how much of a mess Kelly was.

"Severide," Boden made his presence known with his deep booming voice. "You alright?"

Kelly looked at the battalion chief, then gestured to the passenger side of his car. "The whole interior's soaked, he must've sweated off 5 pounds in the time it took to get him here...he could've _died_...and it's my fault?" Severide said, sounding completely lost and not even sure which end was up anymore.

Boden walked over to the Mustang and grabbing Kelly by the arm, pulled him off the hood and to his feet.

"Look at me," he told the lieutenant. "You _saved_ Casey's life tonight, you were in the right place at the right time and got him to the hospital, he's going to be fine."

Kelly shook his head, "He wouldn't even be here if it hadn't been for me. This wouldn't have happened...I never thought...I didn't think..."

"Come here," Boden put a strong arm around Severide and pulled the lieutenant to him in a crushing embrace.

Severide's voice broke as he told the chief, "I didn't mean for this to happen!", just before he collapsed against Boden sobbing.

"I know," Boden replied. He tightened his grip on Severide and told him, "It's okay. It's okay."

* * *

"Okay, people, listen up," Boden said as he and Severide returned to the waiting room. "As soon as the doctor clears Casey to have visitors, Severide's going in first. The two of them have something they need to finish before anybody else gets a crack at him. Once he's done, everybody else will get a turn, understood?"

Everybody seated in the chairs nodded and mumbled in agreement.

Severide went over and sat in a chair that was closest to the hallway and furthest away from everyone else. He was somewhat surprised when Boden sat down in the chair beside him.

Now that they knew what was wrong, waiting should've been easier, but for Severide it was more nerve wracking now than before. He wouldn't look at the others, he could feel their eyes all turned towards them, he could just imagine everything going through their heads right now. That this was all his fault, and they were right.

Kelly just about jumped out of his skin when he felt somebody's hand on his, and realized he'd actually fallen asleep for a moment. He looked up and saw it was Christopher.

"Casey's gonna be fine, Severide," Herrmann told him, "it's all gonna work out."

Kelly nodded and replied, "I hope so."

"Hey, I know it," Herrmann said.

Kelly realized his neck was killing him and tried to work out a kink in it. "What time is it?"

"You've been asleep for over an hour," Mouch told him.

"What?"

Severide saw April coming their way and he moved to get up, worried what the news could be already.

"The blood flow to Casey's heart has improved rapidly, it's not back to where it should be, but it's improved enough that they're going to be waking him up soon," she told them, "you'll be able to see him."

"Thank God," Severide exhaled.

"See? What did I tell you?" Herrmann asked. "Casey will come back from anything."

"I hope," Kelly said quietly.

* * *

Dr. Rhodes had warned Kelly that even though Casey was off the sedation drugs, it might be a while before he actually woke up and was fully aware of his surroundings. All the same, he gave the okay for Severide to go see him and just see what happened, if anything.

It wasn't as if they'd never seen Casey in the hospital before. And he didn't look as bad as the time he fractured his skull, _that_ had been a real nightmare. All the same, looking at him unconscious in the hospital bed wearing a paper gown, hooked up to an IV and the monitors and still on oxygen to help him breathe, it was a nerve wracking sight to Kelly. He didn't know if it was just the lighting of the room but Casey looked paler than he did before.

"Casey, you awake?" he asked.

Nothing.

"Casey, can you hear me?"

The only thing Matt did in response was slightly turn his head to the side. He was still dead to the world.

"Casey, I'm sorry." Severide didn't care if Matt could hear him or not. He stood over the bed and watched the lieutenant sleeping, the slow, even movements of his chest as he breathed. All the previous thoughts of the night came rushing back to him, all the possibilities that could've been in store for Casey. Kelly couldn't begin to describe how thankful he was that the extent of medical assistance Matt needed currently was a tube up his nose, and not a ventilator down his throat, not life support.

Kelly's voice dropped to barely a whisper. "Casey, I am so sorry." Unconscious or not, Severide couldn't stop himself, he bent down and put his arms around Casey, sensing some need to actually feel the man laying in the bed and know it was real, he was alive.

Severide didn't see Casey's eyes jerk open as he felt Kelly's arms pressing on him. Somehow Matt seemed to storm out of his drug induced stupor and was surprisingly coherent as he yelled at Severide all the while trying to shove him away, "What the hell are you doing? Get _off_ of me!"

"Casey!" Kelly pulled back with a bright eyed look of shock on his face.

"And another thing, Severide!" Casey pointed an accusing finger at him, completely unaware there was a heart monitor clip attached to it, "If you ever try to..." whatever he was about to say was lost as he looked around and realized something had changed since their last conversation, and he asked Kelly, "Where are we?"

"You're at Med, Casey," Kelly told him. "I thought you were having a heart attack."

"What?" The expression on Matt's face said he was completely lost.

"Do you remember?" Severide asked. "We were at the gas station and you couldn't breathe, so I drove you over here."

"I remember _that_ part, I think you were trying to kill us both," Casey said. "Now what's going on?"

Instead of trying to explain it again, Severide jumped right to what he came in for.

"I'm sorry, Casey."

Now Matt really looked confused. "About what?"

"Blaming you for Darden's death," Severide shook his head, "I was wrong, I'm sorry."

Casey rested back against the pillow. "Hell must be freezing over. Severide admits he's wrong. I _told_ you from the start that it wasn't my fault."

"I know."

"You didn't believe me."

"I didn't _want_ to believe it, I wasn't there, I couldn't do anything to stop it," Kelly looked at the man lying in the bed and felt the fight leaving him. "It was just easier to blame someone for what happened."

"How do you think _I_ felt? I _was_ there, I _saw_ him die, and I _knew_ there wasn't anything I could do." Matt said. "Do you think that was any easier? And then have you jumping down my throat about it's _my_ fault he's dead. And then Heather...I _told_ you nothing happened, you didn't believe that either."

"Well nobody ever accused me of being a good listener," Severide responded. "You're right, I should've known better, I...I _do_ know you better than that. I'm sorry." Kelly turned around and paced around the room and told Matt, "Nothing made any sense, Andy was my best friend since we were 5 years old, and his wife acts like I'm a leper, but she'll come to you, that doesn't make any sense to me."

"Maybe because she doesn't think I pressured Andy to become a firefighter," Matt said. "I didn't tell him to join, I just welcomed him on Truck. Heather saw a big difference in the two."

"I never..." Kelly was about to go into a tirade about Heather's accusations, but once again, one look at the man hooked up to half a dozen monitors and with tubes up his nose took all the wind out of his sails. "I never pressured him to do anything, nobody could, nobody could ever talk Andy into or out of anything."

"And still you blamed me," Matt said, his tone slightly accusing, but for the most part it seemed neutral.

"I know, and I feel horrible about it," Kelly told him. He went back over to the bed and looked at Casey as he told him, "I never thought this would happen, Casey, I am so sorry."

Casey's head lolled to the side and his eyes closed, but only for a second, the next thing he was aware of was a crushing sensation, and woke up to see Severide had him in a death grip embrace again.

"What're you doing?" he demanded to know as he struggled to get loose.

Casey's eyes widened as he got a good look at Severide's face up close and personal and saw his eyes glazed over with tears.

"I'm so sorry, man, I didn't mean for any of this to happen," Kelly told him.

Casey felt Severide's body trembling against him as the Squad lieutenant broke down sobbing, and it worried him.

"What's the matter, Kelly?" he asked.

His head was still in too much of a fog to put the pieces together of what was going on, and saw no connection between the conversation they'd just had, and what was happening now. All he knew at the moment was Kelly was crying like someone just died, something he'd actually had the misfortune of seeing on their job, losing as many people as they had over the years. He wriggled his arms free of Severide's grasp and reached up to hug him in return.

"Hey man," he said weakly, still groggy from the drugs, "it's going to be alright. Whatever's wrong, we'll help you get through it, all of 51 has your back."

That simple statement made Kelly want to laugh, instead it only made him cry harder. When he thought back of everything he accused Casey of after Darden's death, knowing now how hard it must've been sitting on Casey's chest despite his insistence that he slept like a baby every night, seeing for himself the damage that it had all amounted to, and all Casey was doing now was telling Severide that _he'd_ be okay. He tried to laugh at it all but instead he started hyperventilating.

"Easy, easy," Casey told him, "breathe, Severide, breathe."

* * *

"He's been in there a while," Herrmann said, "you think everything's going okay?"

"Well we haven't heard any screaming, that's got to be a good sign, right?" Otis asked.

"Those two have a lot of ground to cover," Boden responded.

"Yeah but, do you think we should at least go check on them?" Herrmann asked. "I mean make sure nothing happened."

"Like what?" Tony asked.

"I don't know," Herrmann said, "maybe Casey woke up and killed Severide."

"I'd like to see him try," Capp said.

"That's because you're sick," Otis told him.

Boden cleared his throat, effectively shutting all of them up.

"April," he said to the young nurse as she returned to the waiting room, "Has Kelly Severide finished visiting with Casey yet?"

April shook her head. "I haven't seen him, Chief. Sorry."

When she went to the front desk, Wallace turned to his men and told them, "Alright, just to make sure nothing's wrong, we'll go take a look."

Everybody stood up, stretched their legs and in single file, marched down the hall to Casey's room. They reached the door and one by one they stepped in, Boden pulled back the curtain shielding the bed from the view of the door.

Everybody just froze, and nobody could believe what they saw.

Kelly Severide was passed out half laying on the edge of Casey's bed, the other half of his body hung over the rail and his feet touched the floor. Matt lay flat on his back in the middle of the bed, also appearing to be dead to the world, and oblivious to Severide's head using his shoulder as a pillow.

Then, Casey opened his eyes and turned to the roomful of firemen and lifted his head up, and determinedly mouthed the words for all of them to understand, pointing towards Severide with his free hand, "Get him _off_ of me!"

Boden held up his hands in a gesture letting Casey know they'd take care of it. Tony and Capp went over to the bed and each slipped one of Severide's arms over their shoulders and lifted him up.

"Wha's going on?" he grumbled, barely able to open his eyes.

"It's alright, Severide, we got this," Tony said.

"Oh, good," and with that, Severide was out like a light and dead weight in their arms again.

The others stood aside as the men from Squad walked their lieutenant out, Boden went over to the bed. "How're you doing, Casey?"

"I'm fine," Matt answered, more alert now than he was talking to Severide, "what's wrong with _him_?"

"What did you two talk about?" Cruz asked.

"I don't really remember," Casey shook his head, "I fell asleep for a minute. Look, _what's_ going on? Why am I here?"

"You don't remember?" Boden asked.

"Remember what?"

"Severide thought you were having a heart attack," Brian told him.

Casey looked up at them in disbelief, "What?"

"It's alright, the doc says it's _not_ a heart attack," Herrmann quickly added.

"But you _will_ be off duty the next few shifts to make sure you're fully recovered," Boden said.

Casey looked around at all of them and it was obvious nothing was making sense to him.

"Recover from what? If I didn't have a heart attack, why am I still here?"

"The doctor said..." Herrmann started to explain.

Brian cut him off, "The doctor said that the stress of the call today made your body release a sudden surge of hormones that caused your heart to shut down temporarily. It has the same symptoms as a heart attack, but it's not and you'll recover quickly. He _did_ say there's a chance you could relapse if something equally stressful happens, but it's not likely."

"Today?" Matt asked, then he shot up, "Hellman, how is he?"

Brian decided it was better to risk a lie for Casey's sake now, they could deal with the consequences later when his heart was stronger. "He's doing better. Orlovsky was in with the family earlier, the doctors are hopeful."

"Good," Matt exhaled as he laid back against the pillow again.

"Casey," Boden looked down at him. "Darden was on all our minds today, we were all worried about losing Hellman. But you got him out of there and to the EMTs as fast as possible, nobody could ask you to do anything more. Understand?"

Matt solemnly nodded. "I understand, Chief."

"This was not what happened to Darden, and we all know you couldn't have done anything more than you did then, but you also have nothing to feel guilty about what happened today either."

"I know that, Chief."

"What happened then?"

Casey closed his eyes and inhaled painfully, then he looked at them and explained, "It wasn't just Darden, it was him, and Jimmy Borelli, and all the others that we've lost...there've already been too many of them...when I saw the flames engulf Hellman, I thought for sure he'd be a goner too.

"This job claims a lot of the people who do it. That's a fact we struggle every day to accept, we struggle because it simply is beyond our control," Boden added. "No matter how far we come and what we know, we still can't get ahead of some calls, sometimes we just don't come back."

Matt shook his head and weakly said, "We've already lost too many...how many more are we...how many more do we have to lose?"

Casey started breathing heavily and all eyes were on him for fear that his condition was worsening, or even worse than that, maybe he actually was having a heart attack this time. It was to everyone's relief when they realized he was crying. They crowded around their lieutenant and wordlessly offered him their undivided support. Otis and Cruz got on either side of the bed and gripped his shoulders, Herrmann stood at the foot of the bed and patted his knee through the blanket. Boden leaned down and placed a hand on the side of Casey's head and told him softly as the lieutenant weakly sobbed in remembrance of their brothers they had already lost over the years, "It's okay, it's okay."


End file.
